remember how you ranked
yourself, not top
but low and lowly,
begging for handcuffs
and then kind of seething
but with saccharine,
almost a tale you would
tell them as you were tied
down or arrested but
habits don’t change just
because we do.
there is an insidious nature
to mechanism. it has worked,
it simply cannot fail,
that’s what you told yourself

remember how cold
February can be?
you stay in a staid state
of assessment that lacks
any empathy but when
you sink,
you can feel the wilt of
nearby dogs,
your fingers half
in fur before your mind
has even greeted the owner,
you feel the dog’s skin
and smile, broken
by the thing.
you were contemplating
the ways in which
water-boarding feels
so necessary if you
actually have to force someone
to purge and
you can imagine places you could
use to get there having
felt so close to there before
and then
standing and
smiling to the man–
big and broad and sunny,
like you’ve never
thought a thing.

just wafting here,
picking daisies
in a raincoat.

“February pt 2”

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