Because we all go back and forth between the things we want,
the things we need,
the things we are right to own,
things we renege or
can’t ever have;
the now,
our future,
the garbled past
re-written to include more details;
each other’s intemperate tics,
each other’s suns and angry Saturns,
each other’s wasted fortunes and
last dead pets.
Each other’s turn ons,
buried talent.
Each other’s conversation starters.
Each other’s boredom and
perpetual hard ons
for longing.

Conversations with yourself
where your self aggrandizement is honored
in your head;
where your victories take lovers,
where you are the empire fist with the
tight grip on slipping sand
and I’m still an apparition
stroking your cheek,
reading the lines on your hands.

I chose a fruit tree over you because
I was starving.
I had an intention.
I believe in nourishment,
self preservation,
monastic devotion.
I sit with my bellyache.
You believe in pulp cages
taking the shape of
flesh and you can just
eat yourself out.
You sit with my face
in your lap.
The sun is shining.

I keep thinking we can meet somewhere
else.

“the orchard”