most things I do out of boredom
are destructive so I decide to
change all the lighting in my house;
perhaps the pitch black 11:00 pm
is destroying me mentally.

it’s all shades of blue now. with hints of teal
and pink. lots of warm orange light.

I’m dressed in white. clean
and smiling. with someone else’s hand
pinched into my spine so I can hold that feeling
of being held the right way that right time.

Im coked up
& color coordinated,
green & gold alligator chain
around my neck;
her long snout reaching out of the emerald glass,
beast emerging from her swamp.
a pink wig and tan eyeshadow.
nude lips. big hoops of
snake.a cat that wants hours
of pet unreciprocated.

I can meet my needs
but my wants overtake me.
And so I begin to list them:

I want to be free.

“Libra”