it is not austerity, it is commitment. loyalty is love’s true manifestation. I still have every recitation I’ve ever honored. somewhere, these things stay suckled to me like little violent chords I strum when people disappear.
move in silence,
low and slow,
slower than
time.
they always say that.
slower, slower
than time.
“And they left me for dead.
And I never did forget.”
ok, but ill only do this 28 more times.
I got a moon trine Uranus,
a feeling you’re watching,
a Venus trine uranus
and im write about
e
v
e
r
y
thing
(that means a keen intuition
plus a bit of serendipity)
plus a penchant for walking
wherever, boots,
wig
disguises
they never believe me when i say
life is meaningless,
that i am a nihilist,
half my family dead,
what is fair?
when life is meaningless,
everything feels lighter
than air.
this is what grief does,
it eats you alive
ill remember you laughing, dancing,
humming.
ill remember us laughing
all of the time.
they are waiting for some explanation. you have not a fuck to give, some sleight of hand, my dad’s birthday is june 27th you begin.
stutter something about switching places.
stutter something about ice.
stutter something about loss.
stutter, close your eyes,
watch a story fall out.
I’m not sorry.
you’ve been rehearsing it,
I’m not fucking sorry.
i cant even write about the last night, the dream the night you died. the tunnels and the ghosts in my apartment and the maze and me, distracted by the little girl. the warning true.
“grief is the price we pay for love”.
daturamoon.com 