What I realize making soup one day, is that I didn’t want to light two burners at once as one has a tendency to burst upon lighting which is its own problem. Suddenly, wanting to add two together, I pause.  I’ll make the tea later. It’s true my problems; what I am scared of and enraptured with, drawn towards and reaching for is flame. That if the place was to catch fire, I might be so engrossed by the violence of pure element, I would freeze, take no cover, almost plead with an embrace or hold the cat so close as I lose my breath in my sleep, suffocated without waking.
“I dreamt of a fire last night.”
I am writing this to myself because later I will remember something else so long as I tried to catch the imagery with more vivid detail the first time. In the morning, it was hard. Distraction immediately began. So many inquiries first thing in the morning. I wrote as much as I could and took my usual walk later. Sometimes things hit me unexpectedly.
“My neighbor’s house caught fire when I was nine.”
But I had told myself a story first on that walk. First the dream, then going back to remember the dream and then trying to make meaning.

three

number

1. equivalent to the sum of one and two; one more than two; 3.
   “her three children”
   • a group or unit of three people or things.
     noun: three; plural noun: threes
     “students clustered in twos or threes”
   • three years old.