What I realize making soup one day, is that I didn’t want to light two burners at once as one has a tendency to burst upon lighting which is its own problem. Suddenly, wanting to add two together, I pause.  I’ll make the tea later. It’s true my problems; what I am scared of and enraptured with, drawn towards and reaching for is flame. That if the place was to catch fire, I might be so engrossed by the violence of pure element, I would freeze, take no cover, almost plead with an embrace or hold the cat so close as I lose my breath in my sleep, suffocated without waking.
“I dreamt of a fire last night.”
I am writing this to myself because later I will remember something else so long as I tried to catch the imagery with more vivid detail the first time. In the morning, it was hard. Distraction immediately began. So many inquiries first thing in the morning. I wrote as much as I could and took my usual walk later. Sometimes things hit me unexpectedly.
“My neighbor’s house caught fire when I was nine.”
But I had told myself a story first on that walk. First the dream, then going back to remember the dream and then trying to make meaning.




  1. equivalent to the sum of one and two; one more than two; 3.
    “her three children”

    • a group or unit of three people or things.
      noun: three; plural noun: threes
      “students clustered in twos or threes”
    • three years old.

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