I felt it important to get rid of things. Anything really. Had begun to remove sweaters from my drawer, shorts that were very short or tight, anything that felt of no use. No use as in it fit awkwardly. I had gained weight from comforting myself with pizza and ice cream and generally vacillated between eating a lot suddenly at night and fasting any other time. When people asked me what I ate, I always answered I don’t know. I was preparing for room. And my friend xxx was coming. For New Year’s. I wanted no company. I wanted to slice my body into edges with a razor and let all the bad drain in a tub but I got a bunch of trashbags and began cleaning out my closet.