the first thing I showed him was the callous
and he licked it with his tongue
without questioning my need to
grip things so tightly
I’ve succumb to carpal tunnel,
arthritis, delusions of
grandeur and infancy.
“has anyone ever talked to you about splitting?”
is what the doctor said to me once
after observing me mumbling to myself
in my room.
sometimes i like to shoplift.
“Who is Catarina?”
sometimes I like to fuck the men with wives.
“Catarina is the girl who does bad things. I am Sarah. I am the good girl who does good things.”
sometimes I like to hunt.
“splitting is a phenomenon in which you sort of leave your body to allow another persona to take over.”
sometimes I like to punish bad boys.
sometimes I like to peek at Christmas presents.
“no, more like split personality.”
sometimes I watch the mirror dance in candlelight
and wait for her to come
I break men
like the swell that rises over bridges
engulfing islands with her mouth,
I break men with turns of