on the table now–
Bali Gold, glass of water,
Prilosec both for the dizziness
and potentiation. plus
vitamin c. plus
magnesium to lower the
tolerance. plus turmeric
for inflammation which I found
can also up the buzz.
leave the gummies for now.
I take a stem too.

eventually my legs seized a little.
or, well it felt like my arms were gonna bend
back, or well, like everything had a
mind of its own.
I’m vomiting in the toilet
but forcing it and drinking
a glass of water every 3 minutes.
there is this thing called hyper hydration
that can swell your brain, I tell him.
I’m pissing a lot and
it feels like I will eventually
cease breathing but also like it’s a far way away
and I just gotta sit in a spin with a blanket
around me, tremoring.
also im hearing a few voices
and a woman in the toilet says
you’re doing great, stay grounded.

but honestly
I’m fine. I’m not suicidal.
I just want to have a
good time

4.